I love you but I'm not in love with you

I sat on my bed stunned at the way Cedric had left. Had I done something? Everything was so confusing right now. I need to talk to Hermione but she’s with Ron at the moment.

I sighed and stood up going into the bathroom and taking a shower. I got out and dressed, I went into the kitchen and began fixing me something to eat when I heard a knock on my door, hoping it was Cedric back I ran to the door and opened it. Who else at the door other than, Harry. Just what I need right now. “Come in, Harry.” I left the door open and went back to the kitchen.

Harry followed me in, “What? No kiss hello, love?”

I rolled my eyes, “I told you, Harry. I need time to think.” How the hell do I tell him again that I’m not in love with him anymore? I continued cooking my breakfast burrito feeling his eyes on me. He grabbed my arm and turned me kissing him deep. I just froze, I couldn’t return his kiss this time. There was no desire to.

He finally pulled back his hands still gripping my arms. “What’s going on, Ginny?” I could see the hurt in his eyes.

“I..I..I’m not sure, Harry. I’m just confused on what I want. I don’t feel the same about you like I use to.”

“What do you mean?” He asked as he dropped his hands and taking a step back and looking at me.

“You know what I mean, Harry. You’re trying to move to fast with us. You’ve made me pull back and I’m no longer ‘in love’ with you. I love you as more of a friend now. I’m sorry.”

“You love me but you’re not in love with me? That’s the biggest bunch of bull I have heard, Ginny.” He shook his head. “Don’t worry about it, I won’t bother you anymore.” He turned to leave and my heart dropped.

“Please, Harry. Don’t shut me out completely.”

“I’m sorry, Ginny. I can’t be around you if I can’t be with you.” He dropped his head and started out of my apartment. How can I fix this? I just stood there and watched him leave. There was nothing I could do to make this any easier on him or make it better. Not if he doesn’t want to be friends.

I sighed and turned back to the stove and jumping when I heard the door slam behind me. I finished my burrito and ate it while sitting on the couch wallowing in my sorrow. My confusion was really getting to me. I just want to figure out what it is that I’m feeling for Cedric. The only way I’m going to do that is if I explore these feeling further. I need to sit down and talk to him.

I picked up my cell phone and texted Cedric.

Confusing Ginny

Ginny falls asleep in Cedric’s lap after she is completely wasted. Cedric picks her up and carries her into her bedroom, laying down with her and putting his arm around her thinking What the hell am I suppose to do? He wants to tell Ginny how he truly feels but is afraid of confusing her more or running her off for that matter. Cedric eventually falls asleep too.

When Ginny wakes to a arm around her she automatically snuggles into their chest, then she catches the familiar scent of Cedric. Her eyes fly open and see that they’re both fully dressed. She calms down some and just looks at his gorgeous face, wondering when it was she had developed these strange feelings for her best friend.

As she lays there watching him, his eyes open slowly. “Good morning, beautiful.” He grins.

“Good morning, Cedric.” She grins back.

“You know, you’re rather sexy first thing of the morning.”

“I think you’re still drunk.” She rolls her eyes at him and goes to get out of bed, but he won’t let her. He pulls her back to him and kisses her softly.

“I know I’m probably confusing you more but I can’t help but kiss you. I’m sorry.” He gets out of bed leaving her hurt and confused yet again.

“I…I..I’m not sure I don’t want you doing.” She bites her lip.

“And until you figure out who or what it is you want I shouldn’t be doing that.” He walks over and brushes his hand down her face. “I’ll be back later, I need to get going.” He kisses her forehead then walks out of her apartment feeling bad about what he had just done and hoping against all hope that it is him that she chooses.

Ginny sits on her bed after watching Cedric just bolt out the door, or so it seemed to her. She pulls her knees up to her chest wondering how her life had gone all awry. Unable to get her mind off of Cedric she sits there for a while wondering what it is about him that draws her in. "Why can't I have a normal love life, instead of being with one guy and wanting another? She asks herself. Trying to figure out what to do she just sits on her bed, thinking.

She reaches into her nightstand and pulls out her journal and begins another entry….

Forgiveness

[Ron] *stands there after knocking on the door worried that she'll turn away from him again*

[Hermione] *takes a deep breath and opens the door looking right at Ron and feeling that instant happiness she always had when around him. that was exactly what she was afraid of.* Come in, Ronald. *steps aside for him to enter her apartment*

[Ron] *a look of sadness crosses his face when he sees how he has hurt Hermione, he steps inside and waits as she closes the door leaning her forehead against it. he turns around and places his hands on her shoulders* I'm sorry, Mione.

[Hermione] *turns around and collapses in his arms with him catching her, she sobs against his chest*

[Ron] Hey, sweetie. Everything's gonna be alright. *brushes his hand over her hair* I'm so sorry. *walks her over to the couch and sits down pulling her down into his lap*

[Hermione] Oh, Ron. How could you not want to marry me? We had talked about it before I got pregnant but then you all the sudden changed your mind.

[Ron] I didn't change my mind, I got scared. I wasn't ready for all of this yet. I just needed some time to think things through but when I got the message stating you had left and wouldn't be returning it broke my heart. That's when I realized I couldn't live without you. *tilts her head up and kisses her softly* Please forgive me.

[Hermione] *looks up into his eyes and smiles* I love you, Ron. I overreacted. There's nothing to forgive.

[Ron] *leans down and claims her mouth with his once more* You're the best, Mione.

[Hermione] *giggles at his nickname for her*

[Ron] What do you say we get out of here and go get something to eat? Maybe celebrate later?

[Hermione] *climbs off his lap and holds her hand out. he stands with her and they walk out of her apartment to find something to eat*

If You Were Mine~From Cedric to Ginny

Confused More Than Ever

[Ginny] *sitting on her couch, still. She twirls her iphone in her hand trying to decide what to do. Eventually she lays her phone down and paces the room, thinking, until she hears her phone ring knowing it was Cedric by the ring. Nervous she walks over and picks the phone up, answering it* Cedric?

[Cedric] *sighs a sigh of relief* Hey, Ginny.

[Ginny] *sits back down, her knees going weak at the sound of his voice*

[Cedric] *runs his hand through his hair* Uh….what are you doing?

[Ginny] *grins into the phone* Sitting in my new apartment. Wanna come over? *she said before thinking of what she was saying*

[Cedric] Of course, if you want me to. *he tries to hide the excitement in his voice*

[Ginny] I do, just overlook the fact that it hasn’t been lived in gawd only knows how long and I just moved in about 15 minutes ago. *she giggles*

[Cedric] *laughs* Couldn’t be worse than my room!

[Ginny] Very true. Alright then get your ass over here. *she hung up and heard the pop outside her door then shortly after the knock. She got up and practically ran to the door slinging it open and throwing her arms around Cedrics neck she kissed him full on the mouth* I missed you! *she exclaimed*

[Cedric] *grinning that shit eating grin of his* Apparently.

[Ginny] *blushes deeply* OH….I’m sorry. *she lets go and walks over to the couch*

[Cedric] *shuts the door softly and follows her pulling her into his lap like usual when he sits down* Why are you sorry?

[Ginny] Because I kissed you.

[Cedric] That’s no reason to be sorry. You don’t hear me complaining do you? *he smirks* Maybe I liked it. *he runs his hand up her arm into her hair bringing her face down to his and planting a soft but demanding kiss on her lips*

[Ginny] *when he pulls away she’s more confused about what she wants than ever* But….

[Cedric] But what?

[Ginny] But we’re just friends, Cedric. We can’t be doing this.

[Cedric] And why not? Why can’t we have a little friendly romp session?

[Ginny] Because sex changes everything. *she sighs wanting nothing more than to rip his clothes off and ravish him*

[Cedric] *sighs* If that’s what you want just say so.

[Ginny] *swallows the lump in her throat* I don’t know what I want right now. *she jumps up off his lap and starts pacing again* I’m so confused, Cedric.

[Cedric] What are you confused about, baby girl? *he wants to go to her but knows better, when shes in one of her moods like this you better leave her alone and get it all out first*

[Ginny] I’m not sure I’m in love with Harry anymore for one. *she stops abruptly and looks up at him*

[Cedric] When did that happen?

[Ginny] Yesterday after I left your place I realized I care more about you than I do him and something about that says, “hey you’re not in love with him anymore” ya know?

[Cedric] That’s usually a pretty good sign. *he nods*

[Ginny] Ron, Fred, and George think I’m mental.

[Cedric] Why would they think that, Ginny? *he looks at her confused*

[Ginny] Because of my feelings and things. I can’t tell you right now.

[Cedric] *looks at her then stands up and walks over to her pulling her to him and kissing the top of her head* Then what would you like to do? I can help you figure things out.

[Ginny] You just make it worse, but I don’t want you to leave. *she sighs leaning her head against his chest*

[Cedric] I’m here as long as you want me here.

[Ginny] What about Cho? *she looks up at him with tears in her eyes*

[Cedric] We decided to take a break from…..US. *he shook his head* So more or less we broke up. *shrugs*

[Ginny] Did you want to break up or something?

[Cedric] Yeah or something. *winks at her*

[Ginny] I thought you really liked Cho. See now I’m really confused. *she sighs and pulls away from him*

[Cedric] *pulls her back to him kissing her deeply* That’s why I didn’t care. *he lets go and walks into the kitchen conjuring some fire whiskey. He brings it back into the living room and sits down on the couch motioning for her to come sit by him*

[Ginny] *walks over silently and sits beside him putting her legs in his lap like she always does*

[Cedric] Ladies first! *hands her the bottle of fire whiskey*

[Ginny] *takes a drink and hands it back,*

*they continue doing this through the bigger part of the night*

Hermione's Journal

What am I suppose to do? I know I told Ron to come over and we would talk but now I'm ready to pack my shit and run. It scares me to think he might say he's not ready for all of this. I don't know if I could handle that again.

*she sighs sitting back and looking at her little baby bump, smiling then starting to write again*

I guess I should at least try for our baby. Baby Weasley.

I hope everything goes well with us and we can continue our lives together, instead of having father child visits every weekend or whatever. That's just not how I pictured my life, that's not what I want. What I want is Ron! He's the love of my life and I want to get married and have all the little Weasley's running around that he wants.

I thought things would get better after I left when he refused to get married at this point but that was 3 months ago. I am now 4 months pregnant, I have ignored every attempt at contacting me that Ron has made and for what? Heartache? Pain? Loneliness? I just want....

*she stops abruptly when she hears the pop of someone apparating. she stands up and hears the knock as she makes her way to the front door*

Doing the Right Thing

[Ginny] *Ginny sits on her couch staring at the wall, stunned. She takes out her cell and dials Hermione’s number*

[Hermione] Hello? *she waits* Hello?

[Ginny] How dare you leave my brother! And why didn’t you tell me you’re pregnant? *she asked exasperated*

[Hermione] *almost drops her phone* I’m….I’m sorry, Ginny. I knew you would react this way. But Ron doesn’t want to marry me and I don’t want to be with him if he can’t marry me.

[Ginny] He wants to talk to you.

[Hermione] You didn’t tell him you know where I’m at did you? *she asks worried*

[Ginny] No, Hermione. I didn’t tell him. I just told him I would help him find you, but would leave it up to you whether you spoke to him or not. *sighs* He’s miserable without you. He regrets it, Hermione. I can tell. Just give him a chance to prove it to you, please. For me. For your baby. For yourself. For Ron to have a chance to be in their life. *she pleaded with her, not knowing what else to do*

[Hermione] I don’t know, Ginny. *she bites her lip gripping the phone tightly*

[Ginny] You need to talk to him, Hermione. He is the father of your child. And one of your best friends.

[Hermione] *sighs* I know you’re right, Ginny. It’s just hard to after our last conversation. He hurt me so bad. *a tear leaks from her eye rolling down her cheek*

[Ginny] I can only imagine. *shakes her head* No, I can’t even imagine it. Just think about it,

ok?

[Hermione] *huffs* Alright, Ginny. Thank for calling and telling me. I appreciate it.

[Ginny] No problem. I’ll let you go, I have a couple things to do. *she sighs thinking about Cedric and Harry*

[Hermione] Alright, I’ll talk to you later. *she hangs up her phone, sitting on her bed rubbing her baby bump and thinking. She opens her phone again then shuts it then opens it once more before calling Ron and waiting on him to answer*

[Ron] *picks up his cell and answers it without looking at the number* This better be good, I was in the middle of something.

[Hermione] *sighs* Hi, Ron.

[Ron] Hermione? Oh, gawd…..I’m so sorry for what I did to you. Please forgive me. Give me another chance.

[Hermione] How can I be sure I can trust you?

[Ron] I’ll make an unbreakable vow with you.

[Hermione] *gets really quiet*

[Ron] Are you still there?

[Hermione] Yes. You just caught me off guard with that.

[Ron] It’s true though.

[Hermione] Can you come see me? I think we have a lot to talk about. * she bites her lip waiting to see if he puts her and their child before anything else*

[Ron] *stands up off his bed* When?

[Hermione] Now? *she says grateful*

[Ron] Of course. Where are you? *he asks confused*

[Hermione] *unsure if she really wants him there or not tells him she is at her old apartment in London* If you’re wanting to try and talk you better hurry.

[Ron] *sighs, able to tell she was on the verge of changing her mind, he shuts his phone and disapparates to her apartment*